Rita the Roach By Ima Chimp

Alright, you might be thinking, "Who wants to even see a roach, let alone interview one?" But what can I say, I'm a dedicated journalist-although this assignment really grossed me out!

RITA: Sorry we had to meet at night, but I hate light. Would you join me for some dinner? I'm serving garbage.

IMA: No thanks. I'm a banana man, myself. This is why you guys have such a bad reputation. Here we are, in some human's kitchen at three o'clock in the morning, eating garbage-

RITA: "You guys?" What a generalization! There are 4,000 species of cockroach, and only about 25 of us are considered "pests."

IMA: Does it bother you to be called a pest?

RITA: Hey, if humans don't want us around, then they should keep a clean house and block our access to water, which we need to survive. Besides, we have our good points. We assist the ecosystem by helping to decompose forest litter. We're also important parts of the food cycle. Without us to feed on, many animals would starve.

IMA: What happens if a human finds you here?

RITA: I scram. I have special structures on my abdomen called cerci that can sense the smallest movement in the air.

IMA: Where will you run?

RITA: This kitchen is full of crevices! I can fit into a crack the size of two stacked nickels. How do you think we roaches have been able to survive for 320 million years?

IMA: Funny, you don't look a day over 310 million-years-old.